Swoon at Your Own Risk by Sydney Salter
Author:Sydney Salter [Salter, Sydney]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Published: 2011-11-02T18:34:52+00:00
Chapter Sixteen
Despite new affirmations—more like specific instructions about not making stupid mistakes, now written less conspicuously on my ankles in Sharpie marker—I found myself making yet another stupefying decision. It's those foolish affirmations. If I have loving and supportive friends, then I should go along with their plans, right? And if I have loving and supportive friends, then I should love and support them, even if that means hanging out with their doofus boyfriend late at night in an empty strip mall parking lot.
I should've gone to the bonfire party with Sonnet. So what if Xander Cooper told her about it? He hangs out with the hardcore partiers now, too? Sonnet made way too big a deal about how he'd asked her to tell me.
"He's so into you," Sonnet said. "Do you see the way he stares? And he's always writing stuff in that little notebook. Probably odes to his Fair Polly."
"I'm sure it's just a grocery list or something. I think he uses a lot of hair product."
"You think you're so funny, but the guy seriously has his rhyme and meter going for you."
I rolled my eyes. "You make it sound so dirty."
"Oh, do I? Or is that the way your mind is going?" Sonnet flipped her hair. "What if I write a few sample Xander love odes for my blog?"
"What if I convinced every blond guy within a thousand metric miles to die his hair puke green?"
"Green makes me horny."
I pushed her off the Lazy River bridge in a totally illegal, bad-girl move.
Sonnet bobbed out of the water, cleavage quite exposed. "You could've just said no."
"No!" I'd screamed. "A thousand times no."
But now here I am standing under the yellow glow of the parking lot lights with my arms crossed. We've removed our shoes to create a slalom course for a grocery cart race. Why did I wear my newish sandals? The nerd patrol has rounded up two carts. One guy even went shopping with his mom so he could hide the cart behind a Dumpster. That's the level of quality I'm dealing with. Loving and supportive friends, I chant to myself, ignoring the fact that Jane has barely acknowledged my presence. She's all over Rowdy, running up and down the shoe course in her bare feet, giggling as she rearranges our footwear. Really she's acting like she's been infected with some viral brain disorder.
We've divided into teams. As one of only two female specimens, I get to be a team captain. I only picked guys who would never in a geologic era appeal to me. One of the guys—he was in my AP Physics class—struts up to me. He reminds me of Buster, except without the, you know, musculature. "So, Martin," he says. He's trying way too hard. "We've got to work on achieving maximum velocity, don't you think?"
"Well, Akim—"
"Call me Razor—like Occam's Razor, Akim's Razor. Get it?"
"Okay. Whatever. Actually, um, Razor, I think we should focus on trajectory more than velocity."
Akim nods, all serious. One of
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